"MrCrash" (MrCrash) 10/27/2014 at 12:52 • Filed to: None

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10

Sunday morning I woke up and decided that I'd finally tackle changing my spark plugs. I was only 14k miles overdue, and refuse to pay the dealership $450 to do it for me. It was under $100 for the plugs and all the extra tools I needed, which isn't bad considering I swapped in 17 Autolite XP Iridium plugs to replace the factory NGK plugs that are supposedly only good for 30k miles. The average time it took people online was 1.5-2 hours. Here's how it went for me. Only took 9 hours total.

Jack up truck. Hit hood on garage door. Lower truck slightly.

Remove passenger tire. Place jack stand under truck. Watch tire roll down driveway and almost hit dog.

Fetch tire. Give dog a treat. Dog now best friend again.

Remove inner fender. Swear at the stupid plastic push pins. None of them came out intact.

Remove first coil pack and first two plugs (two per cylinder).

Go to gap first new plug and realize the gap tool doesn't have the size needed.

Roll backwards to stand up. Betray your best friend and run over her paw on accident.

Retrieve upset dog from back of yard.

Borrow vehicle from someone conveniently visiting. Make them stay and watch the dog.

Drive to Sears for a leaf gauge. Laugh at the sign saying "Pride can't be outsourced" hanging over all the tools now proudly made in China.

Stop at O'Reillys to get replacement push pins. Try to explain to the cute parts girl why you don't want to try using the ford style pins on your Dodge. Feel self conscious because it appears you spent the morning getting a lap dance from Pig Pen (in reality you were humping your front brakes trying to get to the plugs).

Buy the entire stock of pins (1 pack of 2). Get directed to the next store that "has a bunch".

Go to next store. Buy the single pack of 2 left. Repeat with store 3.

Get home. get yelled at for being gone 90 minutes for "a quick run to the parts store".

Finish the first 8 plugs without incident.

Button up passenger side. Lift truck to remove jack stand. Hit hood on garage door again.

Drop truck slightly to mount tire.

Remember to close hood before lifting truck yet again to remove driver side tire and insert jack stand.

Forget to lower truck slightly before re-opening the hood. Swear loudly.

Lower truck slightly.

Rip out fender liner. Those pins are expendable now. Fuck them and their designer. Evict them like they owe you money and kicked your dog.

Get first coil pack off, and swap out plugs.

Drop socket in first plug hole.

Drop extension into second plug hole.

Wonder for a minute why the extension isn't locking into the socket as you hear crunching.

Remove shattered plug.

Stomp around.

Swear again.

Call closest Autolite dealer to confirm plug in stock (thankfully open later than 5 on a Sunday).

Call nearest family member. Beg them to pick up the plug for you.

Clean ceramic shards out of plug area.

Replace that plug, and the next 5 while waiting for parts.

Get plug dropped off with surprise chinese food (yay!).

Replace last plug. Re-install all coil packs. Cross-thread one screw on the pack for Cylinder 3. Yell angrily at coil pack.

Start truck. Get check engine light.

Drive around block to see if it clears out.

Park and realize the engine now sounds like it has a hot cam and is idling funny.

Grab code scanner. Shows error "Cylinder 3 misfire. Coil 3 insufficient ionization. Go fuck yourself."

Crawl back under the hood (now out of the garage and spared further injury).

Find that you are now a Dovahkiin and apparently shouted the connector off the coil pack. Reconnect coil.

Disconnect battery for 5 minutes. Reconnect and start truck.

Error gone.

Headlights won't turn on.

Falcon punch headlight relay. Headlights behave.

Drive around block again without error.

Pull onto main road and do a couple half throttle and full throttle pulls to "make sure the plugs work".

Park truck in garage. Notice that all the extensions, adapters, and swivel joints the internet swore you needed were sitting unused. Grumble.

Go inside. Eat cold chinese food. Watch Walking Dead.

Also, thanks to the input of Oppo, I ended up buying winter tires and a set of cheap rims on Saturday. I got almost $200 knocked off the total by explaining what it would cost me to get the tires and rims separately from the places that had them cheapest. I asked them to meet that price and save me the hassle, and the manager agreed. I ended up with a set of General Altimax Arctics in 265/70 R17 and the cheapest rims they had that would fit. No steelies in the right offset, so I had to splurge for some cheap bro-truck style 17s.

thebigbossyboss > MrCrash 10/27/2014 at 13:03

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I didn't quite understand your entire story, but I can relate for sure.

1) drive to car wash to clean car

2) clean car

3) notice blonde pull up in slk

4) blonde leaves 20 minutes (MINUTES!) on her timer in the next bay.

5) Pull out of bay into next bay, making sure to note that an audi is parked in wierd spot partially blocking the bay, make sure not to hit it.

6) Make sure not to hit audi

7) Back out of bay into Audi

8) -$400.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > MrCrash 10/27/2014 at 13:42

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Nice story lol (sorry about your hood)

here's my recap:

Get Jeep Commander on Rhino Ramps

Try to remove flimsy plastic skid plate for oil change

snap 3rd bolt disgard stupid plastic skid plate in garage

continue to do oil change, easily completed

get Milan on Ramps (barely, seriously half inch of clearance and it's not lowered wth)

do oil change easily

take Milan off of ramps

start replacing calipers

remove annoying Torx bolts with alan wrenches, do fine on first 3 strip bolt 4

run to store to get torx bit

thankfully save bolt 4

go to pull out of driveway to test brakes

won't back up

are my brakes locked?

no jackass you left the wheel chocks behind your wheels and yes they work well

remove wheel chocks angrily

drive around the block - all is well

Rustamino > MrCrash 10/28/2014 at 07:59

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Altimax Arctics are an amazing tire for the price. I had them, studded version, on my WRX when I lived in Alaska, they were most excellent.

MrCrash > Rustamino 10/28/2014 at 09:56

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I'm glad to hear they work well. I've never had winter tires before, so I'm a bit skeptical at how big of a difference they will really make. Should be interesting to finally try them this year.

MrCrash > thebigbossyboss 10/28/2014 at 09:59

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Ouch! I've been there as well a couple times. Never vehicles, but stationary objects that have been in the same place forever. That bumper never stood a chance once I started driving, but I learned once I got the repair bill.

thebigbossyboss > MrCrash 10/28/2014 at 10:09

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Where abouts generally do you live? Here in eastern ontario we get snow from Nov to Mid April. Will not be caught dead without winter tires.

MrCrash > thebigbossyboss 10/28/2014 at 11:21

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I'm in Michigan near Detroit. My last few trucks have been 4WD, so snow never bothered me. My current one is 2WD, but I work from home so I never had to take it out in the snow unless absolutely necessary. I'm finding a new job that will require commuting, so now I have to make it usable year round.

Destructive Tester > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 10/30/2014 at 14:51

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On your wheel chock testing method, I highly recommend testing their effectiveness when you attempt to back off ramps with a front wheel drive car... It may or may not shoot the ramps across your driveway into the shrubs and scare the hell out of your dogs.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Destructive Tester 10/30/2014 at 15:14

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it was a front wheel drive car, though thankfully i wasn't on ramps at the time, the Montego may have fallen victim if I had been.

Destructive Tester > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 10/30/2014 at 17:57

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I'm not too proud to admit I may have pooped a little...